Sally - the integration of multiple personalities

​
The Case of Sally – a brief review of treatment and integration in Dissociative Identity Disorder
(commonly known as multiple personalities).
​
I am often asked, by those who have heard my story, or read The Invisible Choir (excerpts from Sally's case notes and a brief treatment summary make up the Prologue), for more detail on Sally's treatment, and there has been interest in her viewpoint. This post will start with an informal account that will give you a better understanding of my journey with Sally, followed by excerpts from a transcript of her final integration and her answers to some common questions. 
 
My Experience
At the time I met Sally, I had been a psychotherapist for ten years, seeing many clients with a history of sexual abuse. Five of them reported frequent dissociative episodes and described hidden aspects of their personalities (three of them referred to these by name). None of these took full executive control. I worked with my clients to recognize and express whatever memories and emotions the hidden aspects held and to then integrate those aspects into their daily lives. For instance, if a client’s ability to express anger was held by an alter, I would help her to own and express it herself. I did not encourage these alters to speak directly to me or to elicit more identities through hypnosis or other means. I was aware of the potential for creating new personalities, and I preferred to strengthen the core personality through the reclaiming of any disowned aspects of themselves.

Sally’s situation was different. Early in her therapy, she described episodes of what she called “losing time,” and said she had had similar episodes as a child. These episodes were longer than the episodes described by other clients and there was evidence that an alter was in full control. When fragments of memory came back to her, I suggested that she start a journal and that gave fourteen- year-old Sally an outlet. Sally (14) then urged Molly, age four, to come forward. The appearance of The Protector and The Destroyer made it clear that Sally’s was a more extreme case. Her initial diagnosis was mixed depression and anxiety, with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder later added, and finally Dissociative Disorder, after the oldest alters came forward and revealed the extent to which they took executive control of Sally’s life.

Why did multiple alter personalities develop? Why not just one to hold all of the abuse memories? To some extent it was due to whatever Sally’s age was at the time but, primarily, it was because the psychic energy of the previous alter was filled to capacity at a time when a particularly heinous act of abuse was perpetrated. Sometimes, it was because the nature of the abuse was different, requiring new coping skills or eliciting more extreme emotional states. Dissociative Disorders are most often the result of extreme abuse. In Sally’s case, it started with her grandfather when she was one-year old. She had no conscious memory of it, but Zachary provided the details and, after Sally had processed them, confirmed her assumption that the grandfather had also abused his youngest daughter, and likely others.

Several years into Sally’s therapy, she began to hear the crying of very young children. Zachary helped them to come forward, the oldest of them age seven, the youngest age one, each holding some portion of the earliest abuse memories. The youngest were non-verbal but responded to my voice and the comfort of my touch. I helped the older ones to understand that no more harm would come to them. For several months, they shared therapy time with the primary alters and then receded, satisfied that they were safe. The oldest of them identified herself by name and said the others shared it. When I considered including details of my client’s story in my book, I suggested, and she agreed to, the pseudonym I would use – Sally, the name of the seven youngest alters.

There were nine primary alters. Each had a counterpart, developed when two of the alters took steps to end the abuse. The perpetrator at that time, when Sally was 17, had left his truck in the middle of an isolated parking lot. Bobby and LeAnn decided to set fire to it, knowing that nothing short of a violent act would stop the abuse. They watched from a distance. At the point when the gas tank exploded, each primary alter developed a split as most of their negative feelings and thoughts were relegated to what they called "the other side." These alters had the same physical forms as did the others, but led a deprived and degrading existence in the presence of two abusive figures, avatars of a sort, who  represented their abusers.
 
The primary alters included: Molly, age 4; Robin, age 8; Bobby, age 10; Sally, age 14; Sally, age 15; Melissa, age 16; Bobby, age 16; LeAnn, age 16; and Kate, age 17. (In the book, I refer to there being eight primary alters, not nine. The fourteen and fifteen year old Sally’s had integrated with their counterparts several months previous to the others, and then with each other, so I counted them as one. All of the counterparts integrated before the final integration.)
 
Therapeutic Goals and Methods
In 1990, there were few resources available on the treatment of Dissociative Disorder. It was a controversial diagnosis, rare enough that many therapists would never encounter it. I relied on a combination of my usual therapeutic techniques and an intuitive grasp of what was needed. For Sally, this meant addressing her depression and anxiety, her flashbacks and other symptoms of post-traumatic stress, maintaining her ability to perform at work, and dealing with the effect her symptoms and history were having on her relationships with her family. For the alters, it was a matter of treating each as an individual. Each one had to process the memories of abuse—their long-suppressed emotions, their self-concepts, their patterns of thinking about the world and about themselves. I had to form a therapeutic relationship with each of them, gaining their trust and a willingness to make themselves vulnerable.

This post ends with excerpts from the final integration transcript, which I typed earlier today. Tears came to my eyes as I recalled each alter. Though they each appeared in the adult Sally’s body, they were very much individuals, whatever their age. Amelia (one of my spirit world sources) told me that, when I was working with the alters, she saw, not Sally’s body, but each of them as they saw themselves. I have wondered if I might have been able to do that, if I could have reached that level of consciousness.

For the adult Sally, the most difficult aspect of therapy was learning the details of the abuse the alters had experienced when she left her body and they took over. She learned the details in three ways: I relayed to her what an alter had just told me and Sally would have a confirming response from the alter; an alter would communicate what had happened directly to Sally; or Sally experienced an abreaction, which is reliving an event as if it were happening in real time. Abreactions were the least frequent, but they were associated with the most difficult memories, the ones the alters felt they could not continue to carry on their own.

Near the end of the first year of therapy, it became apparent to me that the alters needed more than the telling of their stories. By then, they were less isolated in the house they occupied, but were not a cohesive unit. I suggested to Zachary that it would be helpful to them if they could replace their old, dilapidated house with a new one. I thought that, if it were possible for a house to exist there at all, a new one would be possible. Zachary did not give an immediate answer. At our next session, he said that he could provide the materials needed, but they would have to construct the house themselves. This proved to be the key that would open the door to full integration. The cooperation needed to build the house was the start of their interacting as a family. A rather dysfunctional one to start with, but, over time, they grew to love and care for each other. Their individual talents were called into play and they gained the interpersonal skills that they previously had had little need for. My individual therapy with each alter was now often a matter of doing family therapy.

​Integration
The following excerpts are taken from several sessions in the week prior to and the day of the final integration. The adult Sally was able to draw the alters close and communicate with them. She would speak to them out loud, could hear them speaking to her, and then would repeat their words to me.

The Week Prior to Integration

Adult Sally: “We’ve been talking about this for a while now and the time has finally come for integration.
It means that you will leave the home you have created and join me in my world."

Little Bobby: “We don’t want to go nowhere. Can’t it just be like it is? We don’t want to go away.
It would kind of be like being dead.

Molly: (crying) “We’re going to be dead? Kate says that’s not right, that we’re supposed to be together.”

Adult Sally: “Honey, the fact is that you are all a part of me and I want you back. I want all that you are
to be a part of me—always. No, it isn’t going to hurt, not in a painful way ….. you’re not going to miss
anyone ‘cause you’re all going to be together with me. I’m so happy that you’ve all grown into this wonderful
family that I want to be a part of me. Yes, Robin, it is hard to understand.”

Bobby: “What's going to happen to our house?”

Adult Sally: I don’t know what will happen, but you will have the memories of it, of your things,
of all the fun you have had there. And I think I’ll have those memories too. I have watched you all
grow and I think that had to happen before we could all be one. There won’t be any pieces left--
no broken bodies or broken minds. We’re going to be whole ….. Yes, I am crying. They are tears of relief,
because something I have wanted for so long is going to happen, and I do want all of you.
You have so much to bring to my life, even your fears and the parts of you that you think maybe
no one would want—I want all of it—so I can be whole, so I can be more than I have ever been.”

Molly: “Are you going to get bigger?”

Sally (15): "I don’t feel smaller because I went with my major self. You won’t feel smaller either,
because you will gain.”

Molly: “I think I want to be more, just like you.”

Bobby: “I wonder if we will still feel the love that we have for each other—wherever it is that we’re going."

Adult Sally: “I want the love that all of you share. It will make me a more loving and caring person,
like I now see in all of you. I used to spend so much time in confusion, having dark thoughts.
I don’t want that anymore. I never did, but I didn’t know how to fight it. Having all of you with me will help me.”

Molly: “What are dark thoughts?”

Adult Sally: “Remember how it would get dark and gray where you are and everyone would move
very slowly? I was in a depression at those times. I would slow down too, think I wasn’t worth being
in this world and I would have thoughts of hurting myself.”

Bobby: “But that would have hurt us too.”

Adult Sally: “That’s right. I had some wonderful people helping me to prevent that happening.
I did some very foolish things. I don’t want those thoughts in my head anymore. Having your
thoughts and feelings will help me.”

The Day before integration

Adult Sally: “When I woke up this morning, I didn’t think I was ready …”

Little Bobby: “Are you gonna cry?”

Adult Sally: I hope not, but there is no harm in it. This is a real emotional event that is going
to happen. Do you know what I mean?”

Little Bobby: “Yeah. It means you’re gonna cry … are you scared?”

Adult Sally: “Yes, I am scared. Of what, I don’t know.”

Little Bobby: “Me too, ‘cause I don’t know what is gonna happen.”

Kate: “We will have a celebration. It will be our biggest and best.” (Everyone talks at once,
offering to help with flowers, decorating, making a cake, etc.)

The Day of Integration

Adult Sally: “Hello, everyone.”

Kate: “We’ve been waiting for you.”

Little Bobby: “You’re late! The ice cream is going to melt.”

Bobby: “He’s just being grumpy.”

Adult Sally: “I know that you have all had a final visit with Terry (Tessa).”

Molly: “I really like her. She’s sometimes like a Mom to us.”

Adult Sally: “Very much so at times. I’m sorry it was sad for you. Terry will miss you too,
but she knows this is the right thing to do for all of us. Kate, tell me about the cake.”

Robin: “It was my idea to put a bluebird on the cake.”

Kate: “Bobby helped a lot. He drew the fire engines, the birds, the plants, the eight ball. There’s a little
bit of everyone’s life here - a fishing pole, a guitar – I had to make the cake bigger for all of it to fit.”

Adult Sally: “It is fitting that each of you should have something there that is close to your heart.
I want to thank all of you again. I could not have survived without all of you. No, I’m not going to cry.
I have thought of how we should do the integration. I think some sort of ceremony is in order to
mark the importance of this for all of us.

“I pulled some aspen leaves off a tree on my way here. Nine of them, all different sizes. Some with scars,
some almost perfect. The most perfect one is the largest one and that is how I like to see myself
after you are all with me. I would like you to think of this place, this beautiful mountain setting,
it is perfect for this occasion. I’m going to keep these leaves and make some sort of a symbolic
collage that will always remind me of this time of my life when I became whole.”

The Integration Ceremony

Adult Sally: “Each of you will come close, one by one, in order of your age. I will use an aspen leaf for each of you.”

“Little Molly … my four-year-old child. As I hold this tiny leaf it reminds me how small you are, how childlike in your innocence. I want that, for my inner child to be safe and protected as you never were but will now be. Come to me, my little one. (brings leaf to her lips) My tears are tears of gladness and joy. Be at peace with me now.

“Freckles (looking at the small spots on the leaf) Little Bobby, my boy child. So much energy to give and maybe a little devilment. So playful. I have much to gain from those qualities. Do not be afraid. I will accept you and protect you. You will know no pain. Come with me … share with me … all that you are.” (brings leaf to her lips)

“Robin. Intelligent, strong, my little girl self. As I hold this leaf I am aware of the strength of its color, and the veins that are steady and strong. You have so much to give me. Your perpetual thirst for knowledge, the need to know everything, knowledge that will make you strong. I take you to my heart and to my mind, to get back that part of me that I have missed. Come, little one, take my hand (reaches out). Come with me. Together we will be all that each of us can be.” (brings leaf to her lips)

“Shadows, many shades on this leaf. I see those as the ones who have already integrated with Sally. They have all made their mark. Sally, my young teen self. You have endured so much, and yet in these past years that I have been more aware of you, I have gained so much as well. I look forward to knowing you within me as I never could with you apart from me. I chose these leaves because of the setting here. The tree reminds me of a central strength, one that is rooted and grounded, receiving nutrients from the soil to grow. The leaves receive the sunshine that allows for rebirth every year. You are all my leaves. Come. Be with me. Help me to be what I never could be without you. Live within me and I will protect you.” (brings leaf to her lips)

“The veins of this leaf are very distinctive, like they are reaching for something. The yellow spots are like dots of sunshine, a gentle fusion of color, more yellow to the outside and a deeper, yellowish green. A gentle infusion that reminds me of her gentle nature. Melissa. At times, I have looked upon you as a wayward child, but I realize that never was the case. You knew exactly where you were going and were always true to your beliefs. You never denied who you were and you did not define yourself by your sexual preference but remained gentle and strong. It is that part of you that I am anxious to take for my own. Your quiet strength and your belief in yourself. Those are things that I need, and they overshadow my fear of that part of you that frightens me. Come. Come and be with me.
Strengthen me.” (brings leaf to lips) (reaches out to embrace Melissa)

“LeAnn. A definite tilt to the peak of this leaf, showing that she is a little headstrong. LeAnn, who had kept me from harm more times than I can count, who took the abuse of others and somehow became strong in spite of it. Tenacious, that is LeAnn. A fighter. She doesn’t give up. If I remember, this leaf did not want to come off the tree as easily as the others did. LeAnn, my defiant self, a face of many trials, who rose like a phoenix from the ashes. You are my strength, my defiant one. Bring to me all that is yours to give, and I will provide a haven for you to grow where you will not know the abuse of others. Give me your strength, your tenacity, your willingness to survive.” (brings leaf to lips) (reaches out to embrace her and draw her close)

“Bobby’s leaf has a touch of brown here at the tip, like the lock of hair that was always on his forehead. A little rough around the edges, like him. The veins seem to spread wider, like arms, taking in the children. Strong veins, strong arms. A strong heart. Bobby, my youthful male self. So many times you gave me pause for concern, but I understand why. I know you needed to work through the years of abuse and the anger caused you to be abusive to others. At times, I almost hated you, but you developed into a very loving, nurturing, young man. It is that part of you now that I need. Your artistic talents have baffled me, left me in awe of your ability. I don’t know if I will acquire those talents, but I will acquire the ability to explore them and hopefully become as good as you. You need never worry that anyone will ever harm you again. I want you to know peace within me. I hope to acquire your capacity to change and your capacity to love. Come. I willingly accept all that you have to give.” (brings leaf to lips) (reaches out to embrace him and draw him close)

“I chose this leaf for Kate because it is well-rounded, symmetrical, with delicate veins, a quiet strength, but also a uniform consistency in size, shape, and color. Kate was often a mainstay, a quieting influence, a haven for the young ones. This leaf is a little larger, and Kate has a very large capacity for love and for nurturing others, often in a care-giving role. She was always there for the younger ones, as she was there for me when I needed her. Kate, my oldest child self. Your quiet strength, your ability to love and nurture others, I want those qualities for my own. In return, I give you a safe place, a place where you can expand and grow wiser. Come, and I will accept all that you are so that I will be more.” (brings leaf to her lips) (reaches out to embrace her and draw her close)
 ________

Integration did not mean that life was immediately easier for Sally. She continued with occasional therapy for another year or two to address some residual issues, and to learn to share her consciousness with the alters and accept their viewpoints and desires. As time went on, and the alters became more thoroughly integrated, she was pleased to experience the return of many happy childhood memories. At the time of integration, when Sally was forty-five, the older alters appeared to each other to have aged to about the age of thirty. They continued to mature and within a few years had caught up with the adult Sally. 



​Questions for Sally

When and how did you realize that you had multiple personalities?

​I had some awareness as a child and teenager that I would lose time, but I had no idea why and no one to help me
figure it out. That stopped when I was seventeen, and I led a normal life for the next twenty years. I was a wife
and mother and had a demanding job with responsibility for others. I played guitar in a band, played softball,
and sang in the church choir. Then, in my late thirties, my life fell apart. My memories of when the episodes started
up again are still somewhat vague and distorted. I was desperately trying to separate fact from fiction, what
actually happened when I lost time from my fears and imaginings of what might have happened.

Time would be missing, a few minutes or a few hours; for example, I would be making lunch at home and know it
was about noon and then the next thing I knew it was time to start supper, and I would have no idea what had happened in the meantime. Sometimes I would find myself in a strange place, often at a park or by a lake, and have no idea how I had got there or exactly where I was. I remember calling Tessa, in a panic, and describing landmarks to her so she could help me figure it out. It was very frightening. Sometimes, I would lose an entire day and that left me even more disoriented and fearful. I began to lose my sense of myself as a person, who I was.

​I never knew when it would happen again or what would trigger an episode, and I also had started to hear voices
in my head. I felt that I was going insane. I figured out from the voices that the triggers had to do with memories
of childhood abuse that they were trying to communicate to me. Up until that time, I had had no memory of having
​been abused. My memories of childhood were very sketchy, like I had existed in a fog for much of the time. It 
​might be more accurate to say that I existed in a landscape of dark clouds. My memories were of the few gray
spaces between the clouds. The rest was hidden from me until the voices started to reveal the ugly truth. There 
was so much turmoil in my mind, and so many disruptions to my life, that I had to take a leave of absence from work
​to deal with it all. It was almost a year before I was ready to go back. By then, the alters and I were trusting each
​other to some degree and they agreed to not take over during my work hours. 

Several months into therapy, after I had described what the voices were saying and the disturbing dreams I was
having, Tessa suggested that I keep a journal to record everything. That is when I had my first definite clue that
there was another personality. One day, I lost time while I was writing and came back to see a different handwriting,
printing actually, writing about being abused by the man I had babysat for. (He worked with my dad and he and his
wife were friends with both of my parents.) Some of the entries were matter-of-fact accounts of what had happened.
The older personalities would rant, writing in cursive--angry, dark strokes telling of their shame and anger
and helplessness. I cried for them and felt their pain, but I also would get angry at them for disrupting my life.

​It was the fourteen-year-old Sally who first trusted Tessa enough to come forward and reveal herself. It was several months later that the older teen-agers came forward. That was when Tessa told me that I had a Dissociative Disorder, which she said was a fairly new category that often fit people with multiple personalities. The older ones told her that they knew how to drive and that they would take over and then drive to places outdoors where they could feel free.
They also had some escapades in town, but I didn't learn about those until later. Then I worried even more--what kind
of trouble could they get a middle-aged woman into with their teen-age minds and attitudes. 

​When did I realize it? I would say that it took a combination of the alter personalities coming forward, me trusting
Tessa enough to be honest with her, and the alters trusting her enough to tell her their stories, that led to me realizing,
and then accepting, that there was more than one me. It frightened me, but it also made sense of what was
happening to me, so there was some comfort in that. Tessa explained it to me in such a way that it was a relief to
​have some understanding of everything. My symptoms had been similar as a child, but I don't know
if I would have been correctly diagnosed if I had seen a therapist then. That was in the early-to-middle 1960's and
there weren't many mental health services available and not much knowledge of multiple personalities.

​What effect did the alters have on your day-to-day life?

As a child, when I was aware of "time missing", it was followed by confusion, fear, and extreme anxiety. It made me different than other kids. I remember often being off by myself and not having close friends. My older brother sometimes had to shake me to "bring me back," when I would dissociate while sitting on the school bus. My family seemed to accept that I was just odd. Things changed in high school. I know now that it was mostly the older Bobby who would take over then and be better at sports than I could have been. He also had a temper and would get into fights on the playground. I would find myself in the Principal's office because Bobby didn't want to stick around for that part of it. I would "act dumb" but it was not an act. I had no idea what had happened. About that time, I developed artistic talent and would often dissociate while working on projects. I know now that it was Bobby who took over then.

At home, I often had to lie to my mother about what I had been up to. I became adept at making up excuses. There was no one I could talk to about the strangeness of my life, the time missing, so I would escape into books. Our house had a large attic with lots of large storage boxes. I would make fort-like structures and have my own private space where I could read. I especially liked stories of different times and places that would take me out of my daily existence and transport me to another world. Not fantasy worlds, but true stories or at least historically accurate ones. Even the stories of hardship seemed to be preferable to my life. Later, two fantasy characters taken from those books talked to Tessa. They told her there had once been more of them. I don't know if they ever took over, but I was always good at putting on an accent and maybe that is why. 

​As an adult, I guess I described in the last question how the alters would take over my life. For about two years, I had to be constantly vigilant that they might take over and in the third year it was still a possibility, but less likely. I had to quit all of the activities I had loved and my role as a mother changed. My daughter, who was a young teen-ager when the memories started to come back, missed out on some mothering, but I still made it to most of her activities and was there for her when I could be.

Therapy was different for me than for most. I would have to share my time with Tessa with the alters so they could come forward, develop trust in her, and work through their issues. Needless to say, my sessions went very fast when Tessa had to meet with several of the alters, each needing her own time. At the end of a session, Tessa always told me who she had spoken with and what was said. Even though I had to process their memories and accept them as my own, it was still the safest place to lose time.

​How did your friends and family react?

​As a child, my parents would get angry with me for not "paying attention" or "forgetting" things I was told or something they asked me to do. I would lose time but couldn't process what was happening. Keep in mind that the alters most often took over when I was being threatened and they kept those memories until I was almost forty years old. It was impossible to tell my family, then, what was happening because I didn't know the details, only that my life was often a blur and I was anxious and uncertain. According to Molly, age four, she did try, but she couldn't make my mother understand that it was Grandpa who was hurting her "down there."

As a teen-ager, the man I babysat for threatened to ask my friends to babysit and do the same things to them if I refused to sit for his children. When I said I would go to the police, he had his friend on the force park nearby in order to intimidate me. I tried to tell both a teacher and a youth pastor, and they both then tried to molest me. I know now that my parents would have stopped it if I could have convinced them it was true, but the man had brainwashed me into thinking that they would believe him instead of me.

​So, it wasn't until I was forty years old that I told my family about the abuse, two years into therapy. My father had passed away by then, but my mother, sister, two brothers, and their wives were all present. That was twenty-five years ago. To this day, only two of them have asked me how I was doing or offered any support--my youngest brother and my older brother's wife called often during the years of therapy and integration. My mother seemed to ignore everything I said, as did my sister. My husband's attitude was that I should do whatever I had to do to get well, but he never really supported me in the process of it. My daughter was sixteen then and had become my best daily source of support. 

​My close friends were also there for me. They knew something was seriously wrong when my behavior changed abruptly, and they were the ones who helped me find Tessa. They stayed in close touch then and, even though we now live some distance apart, we are still close. After my therapy had ended, when Tessa told me what Zachary and Amelia had told her, I came to believe there had been what I call a "divine intervention" that caused my friends to get me the help I needed.

​Since integration, have you been aware of the alter personalities or did they disappear?

​​​I have been aware of the youngest personalities who had not aged as the older ones did. For some reason, the aging process seemed to stop with the 14 year old Kathy. I don't often hear her, but I do hear Molly, Little Bobby, and Robin. I experience their childlike euphoria when around puppies and kittens. I often hear the voices of Molly and Little Bobby, sometimes almost daily, but just a phrase or two. When I am around children, they want to play and like it when I interact with them. Recently, I was reading a story to a four-year-old boy and could sense them near, listening too. 

​The 14 year old Kathy, I am most aware of prior to and around Halloween. I was severely traumatized by events that happened one Halloween and she kept those memories. Every year, I would have difficulty getting through it, but as time goes by it has gotten easier and the anxiety is less. I used to hear her crying and I couldn't go anywhere there might be frightening scenes, displays, or costumes. It is better now. I can talk about it and calmly avoid certain things rather than shake with fear. I can even watch some Halloween themed tv shows. I recently watched a movie, Hocus Pocus, and could see and feel the humor in it. 

​The older personalities, I now longer hear as separate voices, but sometimes I feel their approval when I do something on of them is in favor of. For example, when I choose not to dwell on events that I have no control over, I can feel Kate's influence; when I am doing something artistic, coming up with ideas, I can sense Bobby's presence. When I have spoken out publicly, as an advocate, or to my family or colleagues, I can feel LeAnn's presence. She too has become more reasonable and no longer flies off the handle. 
 

​What was your reaction when you learned that Zachary was your guardian
and why he had appeared to Tessa?

​At first, I was shocked, then I accepted it because I could remember him being close throughout my childhood, a comforting presence similar to what the alters described him being for them. My difficultly with it came later. I still had periods of depression, and that is when I would get skeptical and fear that a part of me was making it up. It bothered me that some part of me might be so deceptive and that Tessa seemed to be falling for it. I also was angry--if Zachary was my guardian and had been close while the abuse was going on, why didn't he protect me? It took me awhile to accept that a guardian cannot actually take over and remove us from harm's way. He did try to guide me away from danger, but my fear of the abusers, and my sense of being utterly powerless, prevented me being swayed by his efforts. 

​As I recall, it took me quite awhile to entertain the idea that Zachary, and then Amelia, had brought a message for
Tessa to tell to others. And it took even longer for me to fully believe it. But, as Tessa told me what they had said, which was over a period of several years when we would occasionally meet for an hour or two, many things started to make sense to me. I had a lot of questions and the answers she gave me helped everything come together in a meaningful way.

​I am now committed to supporting Tessa in her mission to reach others. While it is true that I feel tremendous gratitude to Tessa for, quite literally, saving my life, what I have learned from Zachary and Amelia, and have come to believe with all my heart, is the greatest gift of all.

​Since integration, have you been aware of the alter personalities








 



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